28 Things I learned Before 28

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted anything. Life’s been full, fast, and blurry, but it’s my birthday today, and that feels like a good reason to slow down and write something.

I’m turning 28, which isn’t a milestone exactly, but it feels like a checkpoint. I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I’ve learned so far, some the hard way, some by surprise, and some that I’m still trying to practice without forgetting them every other week.

Here they are: 28 things I’ve learned before turning 28.

1. No one’s paying that much attention to your life.
   Do what you want. Stop comparing your timeline, relationship, or resume to anyone else’s. Nobody’s watching that closely—and if they are, they’re bored.

2. Tell the people you love that you love them. Loudly, and often.
   Text it. Say it. Write it in a card. Shout it across the Aldi parking lot if you must.

3. Writing thank-you notes is the hallmark of a strong leader.
   It takes five minutes and leaves a lifelong impression. Bonus points if you have good stationery.

4. If you hate reading, you just haven’t found the right book yet.
   There’s something out there for everyone. And no, it doesn’t have to be literary fiction with a sad bird on the cover.

5. Anxious? Make a list.
   A big one. Dump out every to-do, every “I should’ve,” and every obscure thought from your head. You can’t strategize while spiraling, but you can write it all down and regroup later.

6. I don’t force myself to make every social outing.
   I’m busy. I’m introverted. I need to decompress. There will always be a next time. You’re not a bad friend for needing rest.

7. My “closing shift” checklist keeps you sane.
   Straighten the throw pillows. Clear the counters. Prep the coffee. Start the dishwasher. Pack a lunch. Take out the trash. End the day like a cozy little barista in your own life.

8. If someone says they don’t want to be with you, believe them and let them go.
   You don’t need to audition for love. Closure is a kindness.

9. You don’t have to be the expert all the time.
   There’s always a learning curve. Ask for the support ropes and gear you need instead of pretending you’ve scaled the mountain in Crocs.

10. Monthly budgeting and saving 15% of your income is sexy.
    Turns out, financial stability feels way better than Amazon impulse buys.

11. If someone gets mad at your boundary, that’s information, not rejection.
    Their discomfort doesn’t mean you were wrong to draw the line.

12. I am, in fact, proud of my spreadsheet color-coding system.
    Organized tabs. Custom conditional formatting. A soft little serotonin rush every time I open Excel.

13. “No” is a complete sentence.
    I used to think I had to justify every boundary I set. Evidently, you can just leave it at “no.” No monologue, no guilt.

14. A quiet morning walk with coffee and dogs is undefeated.
    No scrolling. No meetings. Just movement, caffeine, and a little fresh air before the chaos.

15. Over-preparing isn’t dramatic. It’s how I operate.
    If I’m leading a grant meeting, trust that I’ve already mapped out three backup plans and a color-coded spreadsheet. It’s not extra—it’s efficient.

16. I’ve stopped apologizing for being slow to respond.
    If I don’t reply right away, it’s not because I’m ignoring you. I swear I have a sticky note reminding me to respond to texts at some point in the day.

17. “So it goes.”
    Sometimes things fall apart and there’s no tidy explanation. So it goes.

18. Asking for help is a strength.
    Being able to name what you don’t know and ask for support is a power move, not a flaw.

19. I’ve stopped overcommitting to make other people comfortable.
    For a long time, I said yes to things I didn’t want to do because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Overextending yourself helps no one, least of all yourself.

20. Do the little things, and the big things will take care of themselves.
    It turns out most “overwhelming” problems shrink once you do the next right task. Start with the smallest item on your checklist, and the rest becomes possible.

21. Clean floors and wiped-down counters make your brain go “ahhhhhhh.”
    This small bit of order gives you some footing (without stepping on dog toys or kids’ earrings).

22. Always explain the why.
    People work harder and smarter when they understand the purpose behind their actions. Clarity creates momentum.

23. The first time someone said, “Clara probably has the answer,” I felt like I did.
    It’s not about knowing everything, it’s about having a track record of showing up, solving problems, and staying curious.

24. Don’t bring work home.
    When you drive out of the parking lot, leave your work problems there. Your partner, friends, and dog don’t need to carry your meetings with them.

25. Fake it until you become it.
    It’s not about bluffing, it’s about leaning in. Read. Ask questions. Look a little dumb. That’s how learning works. You’re not expected to know everything when you’re new. Start anyway.

26. There’s a big difference between a reaction and a response.
    One is immediate and often messy, and the other takes a breath.

27. A healthy relationship includes time apart.
    It’s okay to have different ideas about what constitutes quality time. Sometimes that means going out with your own friends, hanging out on separate floors of the house, or just doing your own thing in the same room.

28. Being a step-parent means having a built-in little buddy.
    Someone to be silly with, grab coffee with, and split a cake pop with. It’s one of the best parts of my life.

29. (Bonus!) The best relationships are the ones where you feel seen and appreciated.
    Not just loved, but understood. Where you don’t have to shrink, explain, or overcompensate to feel like you belong.